The action: Ask some of these questions to get a conversation started with your team.
The long-form: Not having your own agenda for your regular one-on-ones is fine. Some leaders suggest asking the report to set the agenda and send it in writing before the meeting, which I guess helps you both use better use of your time.
However, if you want a more casual coaching conversation, Michael Bungay Stanier’s questions in The Coaching Habit are great:
- What’s on your mind?
- And what else?
- What’s the real challenge here for you?
- What do you want?
- How can I help?
- If you’re saying yes to this, what are you saying no to?
- What was most useful for you?
I’ve found myself asking myself these questions. Just writing the answers down help clarify your thinking, on the nature of the challenge, what you really want and what – if anything – is at stake.
And “How can I help” is such an empowering question, because it doesn’t come into play until after your counterpart first has had time to reflect on what they really want.
Side-note: If you are coaching someone on an improvement project, perhaps these questions instead (f40) are more targeted?
First Forty 